


Betrayal

by StarScreamLoki



Series: Hear me [2]
Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki - Freeform, Mention of Death, POV First Person, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:22:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: These ‘Hear Me’ fics are short fics written from Loki’s POV in first person where I try to get inside his head during specific scenes from the movies and try to track his thoughts. I’ve got no clue if it will be good so I’m fully dependent on your comments on this first piece before I finished the other ones and/or continue it.





	Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Sif puts her blade against Loki’s throat and threatens him. A lot of thoughts went through his mind on that moment. But what could those thoughts have been?

“ _ Betray him… _ ”

 

The sword was at my throat before I could react. Out of character for someone with my agility, yes, but I was distracted by the mortal that Thor loves so much leaving the room. Ah well, even the best slip sometimes but something stirred in me the moment the cold metal almost touched my skin.

 

It was not because she went for my throat straight away. No, I’m used to that. Neither was it because I fear death because I’ve had my many brushes with death. 

The reason that in that moment I was filled with dread was because I was very well aware of the fact that I wasn’t sure if she would kill me there on the spot or not. And only after she spoke again did that feeling leave me.

 

The part that hurted so much, or actually two parts, was that for the first time she so openly showed hostility towards me. Sif and I’ve had our quables in the past, and more than once had we fought, but never had I been unsure that I might lose my life to her blades. And now here she was at my throat, the games no more.

 

The second reason it hurted so much was because at that moment I resigned to my faith; I’d rather be dead than back in that rotten cell!

 

It filled me with dismay that I would die by her hands. Not because she is a woman, far from it, because if I am honest, Sif is a powerful warrior indeed and she had done everything in her power to break that stigma - and even that earns a little respect from the God of Lies. 

No, it was because it felt like treason of the highest order. I have saved her life many times, and to be fair, she mine as well. We knew each other since we were children and even though we often disagreed, I considered her a friend.

I should have known better. I  _ did _ know better, but the delight I felt in that moment to be out of that horrible cell overshadowed my rational thinking. Well, that, and the meager Mortal who had just slapped me in the face. So bold…

 

Why did I so easy resign to my faith that if Sif would kill me then and there? Like I said, I have had many brushes with death, even ‘courted’ it as my brother would like to say. But the truth was, maybe I just wanted it to be all over. The last time I actively choose to end it all had failed and I had ended up in the hands of the mad Titan.

 

But there was another part of me that screamed that I didn’t want to end it like this. I didn’t want to die by Sif’s hands, simply because I want control over my death.  _ I  _ want to be the one who decides how my life should end if it would come to pass. Not her, not Thor, not anyone else but me!

 

Maybe my wish to be dead then and there was the foresight of that rotten cell upon which I had to return after everything would have transpired according to Thor’s plan. But I think it was mostly because, that would the mission succeed, would we save the mortal and get back to Asgard, I was very sure Odin would have me walk to the gallows this time. Him deciding how I should die. And like I said,  _ I _ want to be the one who decides how I die, and nobody else!

 

So maybe it was the foresight of the that cell  that dread briefly crossed my face. Maybe it was the flashback at my own attempt and its failure that took hold of my mind in that moment. Maybe it was the distraction of the mortal that had lured my attention. Maybe it was the cold metal that instinctively made me freeze on the spot. Or maybe it was just curiosity at the spark I saw in Sif’s eyes.

 

“ _...and I’ll kill you _ ”

 

But truth to be told, it was a combination of all those maybe’s.

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> 


End file.
